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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Rest Now, My Dear Friend


I was late…. I came to the lobby and scanned for familiar faces. None. I sent a text message. “I’m here. Where are you?” No reply.

Reluctantly, I came to the Information Booth. The lady smiled, I asked for the room number. I sent another message… “I’m on my way to her room.”

I was late…

I softly knocked. A lady opened it up… I met her mother for the first time.  One word I uttered, “Laarni.” She said come in… I said please ask her if it’s okay. The mother went back to her, I overheard my name. I was praying, “Say yes, say yes, please.” Then, the mother came back to me… “You may come in.” Then it was my turn, I said… “Sandali lang po.” (Please wait.) And I closed the door behind her. Another text message… “I’m going in.”

The room was dark. She was lying there… I whispered her name… she knew I was there but did not open her eyes. She returned to the country from the the U.S.A. about a month ago and she did not want any of her friends to know... but we knew and however difficult, we tried to respect her decision not to see us. As she laid still with her eyes closed, I softly came near her and held her hand… I caressed it gently as I ran my other hand through her short hair, combing it with my fingers… it felt smooth and silky… I remember she used to wear it long. We did not say a word to each other for a long time. Then I had to turn my back on her… I was crying. It was just too much when she started caressing my hand… so tenderly. She was comforting me… She was strong... so brave! She was my Ruthie…. And I will love her, always.

Sometime in 2000, Ruth was diagnosed with sinus cancer. She underwent a procedure to replace her left cheekbone with prosthesis and survived it. The same year, she moved to America... life went on beautifully...

In April 2010, she had her greatest gift... Elijah, her one and only son.

Two years later, it was found out that she developed an infection from the cheek prosthesis and it had to be taken out. Tumors were also detected in her lungs which later on spread to her liver but it did not stop there... she was further diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndromes (MDS, formerly known as preleukemia). She fought hard... and went through all necessary procedures... the prosthesis had to be taken out. For the cheekbone replacement, they took part of her skull and tissues from her arm to perform skin graft but she developed an infection and the doctors had to take out everything. But she never gave up the fight... for her little boy, Eli.

She underwent chemotherapy and regular blood transfusions... she had been in and out of the hospital. Ruth had no relative with her in the U.S. but outpouring of love and support were abundant from her many friends there.

During those times, we corresponded through private messages on Facebook regularly... and I loved her even more... I believe the test of a true character of a person would be best seen when one is at her lowest and Ruth's character, it shone so bright... so full of life... hope... love... faith.

Photo Credit: Jurizz Catedrilla-Tabanera

Sharing to you some excerpts of our exchanges... 


  • Hello beautiful! I hope you're feeling better. I am praying for you everyday... I know that you are strong and your faith in Jesus and Mama Mary will heal you.
    I hope to hear from you soon and see many beautiful pictures of you and Elijah on Facebook. So, take a good rest my friend and drink all your medicines accordingly.

    I love you Ruth. Keep smiling 


    October 3, 2011

  • Hi Bhem......i love you!!!!! Thank you for all the concern and prayers! Kayang-kaya ko ito.....I have the Lord Jesus, Mama Mary and Elijah in my heart....I never give up and very positive that everything will be okey. God is so good and always there for us.... I will fight promise!!!! hindi ako nagpapatalo sa cancer na ito....nga pala, sinong may cancer??? hehehhe...I love you!!!!! Maruth

      • October 10, 2011
      • Laarni Paras

        Hello Ruthie, just saw new tagged photos of you on FB. I'd say you look beautiful and so strong! I'm happy! Don't mind these letters, no need to answer them (or read them hehe) I know you're busy. Just concentrate on getting better and better and just let me chat away by myself, you know how I love writing... I even blog about my new haircut LOL! Take care and heal well. Time for me to sleep it's 4:10 AM on this side of the world! Gosh! Good night to you and a good morning sleep for me! 
        • October 10, 2011
        • Ruth Carlos

          Hi Bhem.... I love you!!!! I'm so happy and I see my cancer as a blessing from our dear lord god!!!! Its so overwhelming the people around you. Ang daming nagmamahal at nagdarasal syo. At mahal na mahal nila si Elijah. God is so good to us and I have so much faith in him....sya na ang bahala sa Amin magina. I miss u and thank you so much for your prayers!!!! Love u!!!!
      • December 26, 2011
      • Ruth Carlos

        Hi Bhem, Merry Christmas Mahal!! Feeling better now. Kalbo na Lola mo. I just have one chemo and that's it. My doctor told me that there's no benefit on my cancer. Kasi slow growth naman Ito... We are having a Christmas party on the 26 dito sa bhay ko, they plan it for me...sweet nuh....will pics kahit kalbo.God and Mama Mary is so awesome hindi nila kami pababayaan... I love you mare and I really appreciate you including me and Elijah on your prayers. That's want I really need. I miss you and so happy to be one of your good friend!!!! Hugs & kisses!!!! Maruth
        • December 26, 2011
        • Laarni Paras

          Dear Maruth,
          Thank you for taking the time to write me to let me know that you're okay, it gives me so much happiness. I am thinking about you and praying for you everyday, I always offer three Hail Mary's whenever I think about you and I'm glad that my prayers are being heard because you're feeling better 
          Hair or no hair you'll always be beautiful! Tandaan mo... sa mga gaya nating magaganda kahit mangitim o magpakalbo pa, maganda pa rin! Kahit nga mawala front teeth natin maganda pa rin tayo noh! hahaha! Kahit nga 1 month tayo di maligo maganda pa rin tayo eh, try ko kaya? Hahaha! Aren't we so blessed? Amen!
          Have fun sa party and please post beautiful pics! Wear outrageous wigs if you want, I think you'll look fantastic as a blonde or a redhead! Ako, I'd love to wear long blonde locks tuhraaay! Haaay, wish I were with you guys... I miss you all.
          Merry Christmas to everyone especially to Elijah my love!
        • March 11, 2012
        • Laarni Paras

          Hello Ruth! Kamusta ka na? I'm happy that you're feeling better and better. Always take care of yourself ha. Wag ka masyado magpagod and drink your meds and vits religiously. I love you! Kissesssss to Eli too! 
          • March 15, 2012
          • Ruth Carlos

            Hi Bhem, I'm doing great. Mabait talaga ang dyos hindi na ako binablood transfusion since January pa. Sobrang pasasalamat sa dyos talaga. Elijah is turning 2 this coming April 1. Napakakulit ni Elijah . I miss u mare!! Ingat ka parati huh.

          May 14, 2012
        • Laarni Paras

          Hello Maruth,
          I heard about your condition. Hindi ko alam ano pwede ko sabihin para mapagaan nararamdaman mo pero I am writing to let you know how much I care for you.
          Ruth, tatagan mo loob mo at kumapit ka sa pag-asa, magtiwala ka sa Diyos. Pinagdadasal kita araw-araw pati kay Mama Mary... tutulungan ka nya at si Eli. 
          Kapit lang sa pananampalataya, Ruth, di kayo pababayaan ni Lord.
          Magpalakas ka. I love you.
          • May 14, 2012
          • Ruth Carlos

            Hi mare... Thank you for your love and prayers!!!! Don't worry I'm doing good now... Kayang kaya natin yan..  God is with me all the time and I have Elijah .... Yun palang strength na. I'm going to be around for a long long time.... That's a promise!!! The reason for being in the hospital for reconstruction sa face ko dahil no cheekbone. Unfortunately, the donor bone ko didn't heal properly so there's a infection and have to remove it. But fortunately, they save the muscle flap which hold my eye... Wala Lang akong cheekbone but there's a special denture na ginagawa dito to fill up yung face mo... Ginawa na sa akin Ito before. And about namAn sa cancer ko. The doctor calls it very uniqui kasi pagnakita mo sya a MRI .. Pangit kasi madami matatakot ka ... Good thing with it not active at all d sya lumalaki at d rin sya dumadami... And liver naman it went smaller nagulat sila.. Alam mo I drink Guyabano tea from phils.. Pinadadala nag Ninang ko. Yun ang nagpaliit nag liver ca ko.. My cancer is not bothering me at all.. Don't you worry we have so much faith in my bag... God is always there for me and Elijah... I will never ever give up!!! Love u mare!!! Pasensya na phone ang gamit ko sa fb.
            • Laarni Paras

              Ruth,
              Salamat for taking the time to reply and let me know you are fighting and keeping the faith! I will be your prayer warrior Ruth, I promise to pray for your complete healing everyday.
              I am so happy to hear that the cancer is controlled. Re cheekbones, buti naman the technology there is so advanced. Talagang the Lord will always provide a solution to all problems kaya magpalakas ka para you can undergo another procedure.
              I thank all our friends who are taking care of you there, they may not be perfect but they are the best.
              I love you all, I am so blessed also to have you as my friends.
              Kisses to Eli.
              • Ruth Carlos

                Thank you so much!!! Love u mare!!!
              • May 22, 2012
              • Laarni Paras

                Hallooo Maruth!
                Kamusta kayo ni Eli today? Ano pinagkaabalahan nyo mag-ina? 
                Kwentuhan mo ko pag may time ka ha. 
                I love you! Mwah!
                • May 22, 2012
                • Ruth Carlos

                  Hi Bhem, ok naman kami.. Very much happy kasi kasama ko anak ko.. I just had a hard time healing the tahi sa may ilong ko .. Kasi my skin there is already have radiation and skin with radiation talagang mahirap magheal.. I'm just praying to god na no infection and fast healing.. Ayoko na kasi bumalik sa hospital.. It's very hard emotionally. Thank you for your prayers ... I love you friend. How are you and sila Tita at Tito? You look very happy... It shows naman sa mga pictures mo.. I miss you guys there. I hope someday we can visit you guys... Magpapalakas muna ako nagsobra.. But definitely si ame uuwi next year for the reunion... From our side. Ewan ko Lang si Icar ???? Pzl,dada,me Malabo ..... Anne Marie / don't know ... Save mo ako nag year book at shirt huh... Love u much!!!!
                  • May 22, 2012
                  • Laarni Paras

                    I feel you Ruth, I can just imagine how hard it is emotionally. You are stronger than me, I don't know how I will be able to cope if confronted with the same predicament. But the Lord knows us better than we will ever know ourselves, thus, He only gives us what we could handle and provide us with everything we need to get through it triumphantly. He has so much faith in you, and so do I... you will emerge victorious, my friend!
                    Keep up the fight, you inspire us all.
                    I love you so much.
                    • Ruth Carlos

                      Naiyak naman ako...I love you too mare!
                    • May 23, 2012
                    • Laarni Paras

                      oy, wag ka na umiyak lagi ha, di yan makakabuti... gusto mo gawa ka ng bagong hobby... hmnnn ano kaya maganda? Bakit di mo i-explore ang iyong artistic side at i-try mo magpainting? o diba sosyal? Pwede kayo sabay ni Eli, bigyan mo din sya ng canvass nya. tapos post nyo dito sa FB para makita ko.
                      O kaya, gardening? yan ha mga hobby ng mga sosyal yan hahaha.
                      Pwede din ganchilyo o knitting! Hoy, nag gaganchilyo ako ha, di nga lang sosyal yun kasi pang lola :))
                      Sige, goodnight sa inyong 2, my luvs! Mwah!
                      • Ruth Carlos

                        Naiyak Lang ako sa sinulat mo... Oo naman gagawin ko yan pag medyo kaya kaya ko na... Ang ginagawa ko nag wawalis parati ako sa labas dahil sa mga dahon na nahihulog sa puno.. Tapos dun kami ni Elijah nag breakfast sa patio ko... Pero tama ka mag titingin ako nag bagong hobby at pagkakakitaan... I'm not working right now eh ... Last year pa.. Kaya need extra money talaga .. Gusto Kung gumawa nag something inspirational na base on what I'm experiencing now.. Like a bracelet or something... Hindi ko pa alam... Any suggestions???? Ikaw magaling ka dyan.. Help me naman... Mare punta ka dito sa California .... Dito ka magwork or vacation ... Naku matutuwa lahat pag nagpunta ka Baka si Jurizz pumunta nag Hindi oras sa California ... Labs u!!!
                        • Laarni Paras

                          hmnn... try mo jewelry making, beading yun. Gumawa ako dati hand made rosaries, tapos yun yung pinag-give away ko one Christmas 
                          Sarap naman ng breakfast area nyo ni Eli, presko. OO gusto ko din pumunta one of these days, asikasuhin ko visa, kaso lagi wala time. Chaka dapat madami funds noh! haha!
                          Anyway, if God allows, it will happen at magkikita rin kami ni little boy mo.
                          • Laarni Paras

                            goodnight! mwah! luv u!
                            • Ruth Carlos

                              Goodnight and sweet dreams

                            On November 26, 2012, Ruth came home to the Philippines with Elijah. She spent the last days of her life with her loved ones. She finally went into the loving arms of her Creator on January 21, 2013.

                            Rest now my dear friend and be comforted with the Lord. You won the battle.

                            Sweet dreams...


                            Video Credit: Jurizz Catedrilla-Tabanera